|
Winning Spirit Home
The Bookshelf
Press Conference
Rave Reviews for Spirit Incorporated
Spirit Incorporated Study Guide
Inspirational
Articles
Spirit Incorporated Seminar
Speed Reading Seminar
Speed Reading Skills Clients
Send Kathleen an e-mail
|
THE BUSINESS OF BEING POSITIVE
Be a Positive Communicator
Copyright by Kathleen Hawkins
www.winningspirit.com
The earliest lesson many of us learn when we first become interested
in self-improvement is to express ourselves in positive
terms. This is because the language we use, which usually reflects our
beliefs, helps to shape our experiences. Being positive also serves us
well at work where we want to make a sale, encourage people to
cooperate, and serve our customers well.
Some casual “negative” comments are basically innocent. “This
cheesecake is to die for!” uses the idiom, “to die for.” This is
a fairly harmless statement although some health-food
enthusiasts might think it’s prophetic. The speaker really means, “This
cheesecake is delicious!” And then there are times when a negative is
simply a declarative statement: “They’re not going to the meeting.”
On the other hand, some comments that appear casual are fueled by
negative emotions, which, if used regularly, can produce unwanted
results in a speaker’s experience. The comment, “They’re filthy rich,”
could mean that the speaker is envious of someone or thinking, “At least
someone can make that kind of money; not me, but someone can.” This is a
strong, pessimistic affirmation, which, if used over time, could delay
the speaker’s financial success.
So notice which negatives you use are casual and innocent, which are
produced by strong emotions, and which might be part of an ongoing pattern.
Then keep your communication positive by avoiding the following three
categories of negative words.
1. Obviously Negative Words
Replace words, such as “don’t,” “can’t,” “won’t,” and “not” with
statements of what you do want. Instead of saying, “You can’t miss it,”
say, “You’ll find it.” Instead of saying, “Don’t forget to register,”
say, “Remember to register.”
2. Words with Negative Implications
Replace words such as “reject,” “fail,” “mistake,” “limit,” and
“complain” with words that have positive meanings. Instead of saying,
“This corrects the mistake you made in your account,” say, “Your account
is now current.” Instead of saying, “We’ll give careful attention to
your complaint,” say, “We’ll look into the situation.”
3. Confusing Negatives
A confusing negative happens when you start to say one thing, and then
in mid-sentence, reverse what you’re saying. For example, “Don’t use
this exit except in emergencies.” The first part of the sentence, “Don’t
use this exit ...” sets up one command, then negates it by saying “...
except in emergencies.” This sentence really means, “Use this exit only
in emergencies.”
Also, watch for "embedded commands," which are suggestions that are enclosed within a spoken or a
written sentence. Because the suggestion is concealed, people’s defenses
are down and the suggestion goes directly into their unconscious minds
without censure.
In the sentence, “I really feel tired today, Mary” the speaker is
referring to himself or herself, but when “Mary” hears the word
“tired,” she forms associations of what the word “tired” means to her,
and she might begin to feel tired herself. Likewise if a speaker says “I
really feel great today, Mary.” the speaker is embedding a suggestion
for Mary to feel as good as the speaker does.
A single embedded suggestion might have little effect on a listener
or a reader. If a speaker or a writer uses a variety of similar
suggestions over a period of time, however, the suggestions could have
an accumulative effect. Listeners or readers might begin to feel tired
or feel energized accordingly. A responsible communicator strives to
influence with integrity.
For practice, from now on, glance through every letter or email
you’re about to send and make sure you’ve worded it in the most positive
way.
Good communication is the basis of every successful business
transaction—and personal relationships, too. When you apply the ideas in
this article you’ll communicate clearly to your listeners or readers in
the quickest amount of time, enhance your personal and professional
image, and feel more positive about yourself and others.
###
Copyright by Kathleen Hawkins
www.winningspirit.com
You may copy, reprint, or forward this
article to friends,
colleagues or customers, as long as you include the following credit:
Copyright by Kathleen Hawkins, author of Spirit Incorporated: How to
Follow Your Spiritual Path from 9 to 5.
www.WinningSpirit.com
Let
Kathleen
Hawkins help you increase your personal and
professional effectiveness and look forward to coming to work every day
SEMINARS and PRESENTATIONS:
Learn from the best. Be informed, inspired, and entertained.
- Spirit Incorporated: How to Follow Your Spiritual Path From 9 to
5
- Speed Reading Skills: Speed Read to Save Time, Improve Your Memory,
and
Increase Your Comprehension
MEET
KATHLEEN HAWKINS
 Kathleen is
a speed reading expert, vice president of the National Management Institute, and the author of
four books, Time Management Made Easy, Test Your Entrepreneurial
IQ, Reverse Speech: Hidden Messages in Human Communication,
and Spirit Incorporated: How to Follow Your Spiritual Path From 9 to
5. She wrote a column for five years for Success magazine and
wrote and produced the best-selling audio-cassette programs, Speed
Read to Win and How to Organize Yourself to Win. Her articles
and ideas on how to increase personal and professional effectiveness have
appeared in more than 200 national publications. In addition to being
a best-selling author, Kathleen is a professional speaker and a business
consultant. Thousands of people from all levels of business, science,
education, and industry have taken her courses.
|
